No one said it was going to be easy....

It seems so long ago that Bob and I decided that me losing my job wasn't the end of the world, no problem, we had a budget, we'd make it. Heck, we had already decided to home school before we knew my job was ending so no private school tuition was gonna be great! But....

I sometimes pine for those days of Mommy is tired and guess what, she ain't cooking someone call our Domino's guy stat. Not anymore. We are having October be a no-spend month, so no take out/delivery for us. And quell your laughter, only one income ain't much to NOT spend and you are right, but Mickey D's has 59 cent cheeseburgers on Wednesdays and Halloween is coming up and what will we do about costumes??? I know, I know we aren't deprived. But when the boys do not understand that if they don't sit still and I have to re-read the same daggum paragraph on rivers one more time they will be excommunicated to the back yard indefinitely, I wonder if this is worth it. I've gotten use to having coffee every morn and now I can't justify the $3 Belgian creamer I love so desperately. I wonder at those desperate moments is this homeschooling gig really worth it? Just how bad can the public school screw them up? I'll get a crappy job I hate and have money for inconsequential crap.

So....in light of these depressing thoughts just WHY are we doing this? Oh right. We love our boys, I am fond of being with them all day. I feel this is where I am supposed to be without a doubt, not saying that will never change but for now it works, it fits me. We are starting our first garden and what a task that is. Just trying to dig in our soil is hard enough. And we have stopped using the clothes dryer, the dishwasher, turned off the ac/heat a month ago. Our lives are changing but for the better I suppose. I can sit here and listen to the boys going wild outside, listening to Tori Amos with tears in my eyes because I am doing what I love. Love you all...